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Karthyeni Sridaran's avatar

This is just "what if" ....What if you could read the minds of the many who secretly wish to swap to the long quiet river life, to see green outside their windows, to enjoy health due to life enhanced by yoga, and glow with unconditional love only offered by yellow furry friends? What if you give it just a bit more time, and tables turn dramatically and "provincial" is re-defined as highly sophisticated, cultured, deeply spiritual and meaningful, ultimate sought after life-style, that most socially conditioned ignoramuses are yet to comprehend (or admit). What if you are a pioneering trailblazing avant-garde, leading the way, poised to educate the unpolished on the trappings of so-called success of the business class travellers and entrepreneurs on the fast-lane, to help them distinguish between the real from the fake? What if behind the loud noisy bashes of elite socialites are many empty lonely hearts, hiding behind social masks and what happens when those masks fall, and the blings begin to loose its lustre, and adrenal fatigue and chronic symptoms show up screaming? What if the failed marriage was in fact the lucky escape from an empty partnership drowning your own inner voice that you could not hear in the deafening noise? What if the now quiet big house, your sacred sanctuary, a gifted space that allows the luxuriously meandering slow gentle rhythm of your own pure thoughts to flow? What if you have time to observe the new shades you previously missed when watching the autumn leaves fall in your garden? What if you begin to recognise the tremendous power of life enjoyed in the authentic simplicity of silence? What if in one of those days, in the sound of silence, you hear the roar of the fierce Divine Mother, assuring you lovingly that She has slayed the tormenting demons in your bosom? What if the tattoo that only you could read says "Thank You...I am Free to see...that Success is ...when I belong to Me"

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helen hayward's avatar

Hey wow, this is a blog post in itself. I think what I am grappling with is that even good relationships can end. Ours wasn’t wholly good, but our intentions were. This is what I am trying to hold on to. I don't think a relationship is something to stand in judgement on, but to respect. We all deserve medals for longevity!

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Keoki Nunies's avatar

I appreciate the rawness of this post. I feel every word you shared. I appreciate you for sharing this excellent post.

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helen hayward's avatar

Thanks Keoki. What doesn't break you...

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Phil Mullins's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say “sorry for what you’re going through” (though I am), but mostly wanted to let you know that this was very beautifully written.

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helen hayward's avatar

Thanks phil. Part of me wanted not to share this. It is private. But we all have a personal life and I am attempting to track mine. Also, once it is down on paper, it is gone, and I am able to think about the future more clearly.

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Marie D's avatar

Yes for myself, there is always something to learn from a relationship ending, even though they can be tremendously painful.

Like a new day, there is an opportunity to begin again, it’s a gift really.

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helen hayward's avatar

I guess the challenge is to keep on learning and to not turn inward.

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Gary's avatar

I so enjoy how you capture those pivotal moments and are able to share with us all on paper

An exquisite skill, thanks

Gary

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helen hayward's avatar

Don't know about exquisite. But heartfelt, yes.

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Doris's avatar

I suspect that your ex's criticisms, long ago, were aimed at himself. You appear more sophisticated educated and humorous in your understanding of the world, and much less provincial than he.

I love your dog dream.

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helen hayward's avatar

Thanks Doris. I expect that, like sibling relationships, we use the people we have loved, and love, as markers for our own identity. We all start out good people, and get a few bruises along the way. And give some, too, often inadvertently. Thx for reading!

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